How to make your family pictures feel natural (and not stiff) | NJ Family photo shoot

There are family photos out there where everyone is putting on half-smiles, not showing any sign of personalities, sitting or standing stiffly. You look at them and say, “my gosh my boys love to be goofy and be themselves, but I don’t see any of that in here” - is this what you want for your family photos?

Probably not. There are a few things you can do to avoid this type of results, and they can be done in the preparation stage and also during the photo session:

1. Choose a Photographer Whose Style Matches Your Vision

The first and most important step is choosing a photographer whose portfolio makes you feel something. If you’re drawn to photos where kids are belly laughing, snuggling into their parents, or jumping on the couch, then you want someone who intentionally captures real moments. A photographer’s style and approach will directly shape how your session feels—and what you end up with.

2. Plan for Comfort, Not Perfection

You want your kids to feel relaxed and safe to be themselves. That starts with what they’re wearing—comfortable clothes they can move in. If your kids are happiest in the morning, book an early session. If they need a snack break mid-shoot, take it. A laid-back vibe leads to the most natural images.

By all means, we will try for that holiday card shots also…but what we can get in between end up being priceless and what you will cherish the most.

3. Talk to the Kids About the Session Beforehand

Even if they are little, kids respond well when they know what to expect. Talk to them ahead of time about what the photo session will be like. Let them know they can play, run, joke, and be themselves. When they feel like it’s not about “behaving” but about having fun, you’ll start to see their personalities shine through.

I let the boys pick their favorite polaroid one of the boys took. Giving them a task or small activity will lead to true expressions.

4 Talk to your Spouse about the Session Beforehand

The parents also need to keep in mind that your energy will be reflected on kids. So stay open-minded, show you are having fun. As long as kids stay safe, we will let them be kids, and you might be surprised what you achieve by setting them free.

And once you stop worrying about how you or everyone looks, I promise you will get great photos.

4. Embrace Movement and Interaction

The best moments often come when you're not focused on the camera at all. Instead of standing stiffly and saying cheese, cuddle your toddler, whisper something silly in your child's ear, dance, play a game, or go for a little walk. Your photographer will know when to step back and let the moment unfold—and when to gently guide you into connection.

5. Photographers welcome suggestions. But otherwise they usually have solid plans going in for your family.

Trust your photographer and allow space for spontaneity.

In the End…

Your family photos should feel like you. Full of quirks, energy, love, and everything that makes your crew unique. When you prep with the right mindset and work with a photographer who values personality over perfection, you’ll walk away with a gallery that actually tells your story—not just how you look, but who you are.